I have always wanted to talk about this, and today's the day! Since it's a Sunday, it's a good time to clear this matter now, so in case you're guilty, you'll change starting from the mid-week services (abi you don't usually attend mid-week services?? Hmm. Today's not the day of judgement for that one. We'll come back to you). Yes, I pay attention to all parts of service in Church, and I make sure to receive from each part of the service; from workers meeting to opening prayers, to praise worship (which happens to be my favorite part of service. I mean, I get to dance and praise God for all He has done, and I don't have to think of anything else. What's your favorite part of service?). Like I was telling you, the Sunday school, prayer session, even the hymnal (I recall vividly how I was dancing to one hymn last week Sunday. Hymn o, not even praise worship. You needed to see me last week Sunday), and till the closing of service, I make sure to receive from each section of the service.
However, as someone that is very conscious of her environment, I tend to study things and people a lot. I can even go as far as mimicking how some people pray, walk, dance, etc... (Trust me, I do concentrate in service, but if you're kinda popular, I can definitely mimic you, perfectly!). As a result, I noticed some habits in church, that should not sit well with a believer. Not just in my local church, but in other branches I attend. In no particular order, here are some bad habits I noticed during services...
1. People that are not praying because they're not the one leading the prayers: you see this set of people, they make me angry (I'm not even kidding). Dem dey always vex me. The people in this set ehn, you know what they do? When they're not on the altar leading prayers, they will not pray. They will be walking upandan (up and down) like they lost something, and they will not pray out when they're praying (that's if they manage to pray). They will stand to watch others pray, but will never pray. You might even be tricked into believing they don't know how to pray. Give them the mic fess (first) and let them climb the altar; you'll know that they have fire inside of them (or maybe it's just smoke😂). Why they only exhibit it on the altar when they're the ones leading prayers, and not in the congregation is what I don't exactly understand. It's the same with some choristers as well. If you're not the lead singer or part of the backup singers, you'll stand at the choir seat like you want to beat up the lead singer, or maybe you're waiting for the person to make mistakes so you can be asked to take over. I don't understand. Please, make me understand. You'll then go ahead to beef the person singing, believing you're better than them.
If you're sitting on this table, better you climb down now and be humble. Yeah, because I think it's pride. It's pride for you not to pray or sing when someone else is leading, but if you're the one leading, you'll fire on like others are not as spiritual as you are. Please, change. Pull off the garment of pride and put on the garment of humility. It ‘might' be evident you're more anointed than others, and even the pastor, but that shouldn't stop you from receiving of other people's ministration.
“Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall." (NLT)
2. Not praying, not sleeping. Not singing, not writing. Doing nothing: I find this set extremely funny. They're the younger ones to the number one set of individuals. This set ehn, they're not the set who minister on the altar. They might be workers, but they're not altar ministers. However, why they don't pray, sing or involve themselves in other activities during service baffles me. Like why?? Were you the angel sent to service to take notes of the congregants during service?? Sincerely, I feel they're taking notes about people during service o. They don't sing, pray, or dance. They're as static as a tree trunk during the service, and they're always frowning face upandan. Sing, no. Pray, no. Dance, big no! Even the pastor, they don't answer him. Abi they're even the older brethren to number one sets of people, I don't know. You know what, if they were sleeping during service, I will understand (I'm not saying it's good to sleep during the service, but at least, you're doing something during the service, not staring like someone just beat you up, and you're seeking vengeance). After service laidis (like this), they join their group meeting (that's if they wait), and go straight back home. They don't bother to even greet anyone.
If you're guilty, please, find a way in your heart to forgive those who have offended you in church. Maybe someone has offended you, that's why you're not participating in the service. On behalf of the people, and the whole church, I'm sorry. Please, try participating in the service from now on.
3. Pressing phone (I would have chosen a sweeter English better than ‘pressing phone,' but I feel this one properly articulates my thoughts): this amazing set of individuals, e dey always do me like say make I give dem knock (I always feel like giving them a knock). It's the effrontery for me actually. If you're before your boss in the office, you dare not pick up your phone, talk more of pressing it. Some people go as far as playing games during service (I've been guilty of this one time, and my excuse was, ‘I didn't want to sleep.' Former stupid me should have left my seat and find where to stand. But no, I was stylishly pressing phone- playing game. I was listening to the sermon, but it doesn't change the fact that I was doing something wrong at the right time). You have no excuse whatsoever to press phone during service. Someone was watching football beside me one Sunday like that... Football o... If no be say nah old man, I for deck am (sorry, I don't have the proper English interpretation for this). Why do you do to God what you cannot do to a fellow human?? God is not one to be disrespected. It is absolutely disrespectful for you to wake up, dress up for service, and then go ahead to be pressing phone in that service. It's far more than receiving blessings during the service. Sometimes, it's just a word you need to hear during the service that would change you forever. If I'm mistakenly online during the service, I promise you it's related to the service. I do find it disrespectful to God to be in His presence and you're busy with your phone; not using the Bible app (is it wrong to use the Bible app in church?? We'll talk about that later), but surfing the internet. Let me use the usual scenario our elders usually give... “Imagine your angel came to service with your blessings and meet you pressing phone, if you were the angel, will you drop the blessing??"
4. Going upandan: comrades, I hail thee (two hands in the air for you alone). Be like there's always a pin on the chairs you usually sit on during the service, so it makes the seat very uncomfortable for you. In fact, the fan in the church is not working, and the whole place is hot so you decide to move outside and about to remain cool. You're cousins to the first two sets of individuals with bad habits in the church. Whatever makes you a walkaholic (pun intended) during service is what I want you to please explain. As in, why can't you stay in the church auditorium for 5 minutes?? I'm really interested in your reason. Service is ongoing, and you too, you're ongoing... You'll move to the toilet, from there, to the technical stand, before you go back to your seat, you'll do small ushering work, then you go and check if the Media subgroup is projecting the right Bible verse, you'll now goan (go and) ask the prayer Cord if there's a meeting during the week, and so on. You always have something to do sha! I care less if you're an active worker or not because even ushers don't walk about like you do. For the umpteenth time, I really want to know why you do that. You woke up on a good day, prayed, bathed, dressed up, and set off to church, only to walk about and not hear a single thing that was said in church. If you noticed, I have more questions for y'all in this set than I do for others. Let me ask you too... “If your angel comes with your blessings, and wants to hand it over to you, the way you're walking upandan, will you be able to receive it or you expect angel Gabriel to be following you around till your finally settle down???"
The word that is supposed to change your orientation as touching the things the Lord has told you, how do you receive it and use it when your bottom is always in disagreement with the seats in the church??
To be continued...
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