I beg of you, please don't skip the Bible verse. Take your time to read and digest it. If possible, after reading it, re-read it and stay on it, before you continue with the write-up underneath.
Matthew 6:19-34
“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." (NIV)
Let me give a little back story before I continue... There's something I've been asking God for for months now. At some point, I was beginning to forget, mostly because I trusted God to come through for me. It is something of necessity, so it's not that I can forgo it like that. Something then happened yesterday that reminded me of what I was asking God for. However, the reminder didn't sit down well with me. It destabilized me and made me sad. I was unhappy as I was going out yesterday. It bothered me so much I developed a headache.
But, in the midst of my walking and worrying, I kept telling God “I trust You to come through for me." I was praying with the words I could muster. I was really weighed down, and every laugh I laughed yesterday was forced (is this English even correct?) Still, it didn't stop me from praying, because I knew my worry did nothing but stress me further. So I decided to channel the worry in the right direction; maybe if God say me worrying and praying, He'd pity me.
Let's divert a little...
Worry is usual because you're human. If as a human, you claim to not be worried about stuff, then, we should check your humanity. Jesus, as “God" as He was displayed humanity; He was hungry, He was thirsty, He slept off in a boat etc. If you're beating yourself up because of your humanity, you should change your orientation. However, where your “spiritually" kicks in is when you do not dwell on your human weaknesses, but you hand them over to God.
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (NIV)
The mistake you'd make is worrying and trusting God at the same time. You cannot do both. It's either you worry, or you trust God. I'd advice you stick with the latter. It pays you better. I'm not insinuating that you shouldn't have your matter at heart, but that you should have it at heart with the mind of, “God will come through for you."
Back to my story... I was worrying and trusting God at the same time. I was bothered and praying, I was stressed and knocking on Heavens door. When I got to my destination, after some hours, I made up my mind that I was going to study my Bible, even if it was just a chapter because I didn't get the time to study it in the morning. I was pretty stressed after the day's activities. I went from there to church with the little breakfast I took that morning. All the while, I felt sick and hot. A lot of things kicked in yesterday and I immediately came under the weather, though briefly.
It was difficult concentrating in church yesterday because of the mental stress, and that affected my health as well. I was projecting for the teacher of the Word also; so it helped me concentrate to a level. Though, I went off at intervals, but I soon came back to myself. I got back home very late in the evening, and tried fixing myself something to eat. I almost didn't study my Bible again, but I knew if I skipped it yesterday, automatically, for the next couple of days, I might find an excuse not to study my Bible.
While the food was cooking, I picked my Bible to read. I started studying the book of Matthew this month, so I started, and I just got to chapter 6 yesterday, and I started. I was half way into the study when my food was done. I turned the cooker off and continued with my study. I knew if I stopped to eat, I wouldn't go back to it, and If I did, I wouldn't get at much as I want to from the passage because the meal would make me heavy.
Then, I got to verse 19 of the scripture and I could almost hear God speaking to me from that verse down (actually, He did speak). It wasn't the first time I'd be reading that part of the scripture and it wasn't the first time it ministered to me the way it did yesterday. Just that, the Holy Spirit allowed me study it again because it was exactly what I needed at that point.
I read it in King James version, and went on to read it in other versions (It was more interesting to me reading other versions). An example is the New Living Translation above as I had a broader understanding of the subject matter.
I read it, and kept reading it. Shortly, a small smile broke up in my face. I discovered worry did nothing to me, and praying alongside it did little for me.
This verse below ministered to be more than the other verses...
Matthew 6:27
“Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?" (KJV)
“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" (NLT)
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (NIV)
I read it in KJV before checking it out in other versions, and I understood what Jesus was trying to say. Simply put, “worry" will add ‘nothing' to you. It will only take away. Take away in the the aspect of “taking away your peace, your joy, your mental stability, and if you let it, even ‘your trust in God will go with it'".
I stopped reading and meditated on it for a while. I reminisced on the day's incidence. I discovered, I was worried and praying, but nothing changed in my heart. I knew I trusted God, but I didn't feel like it. In fact, the more I prayed yesterday, the more I worried! Prayer is supposed to strengthen you and reassure you that there's a God somewhere waiting to answer. It's not supposed to sink you deeper into the thought of “how will this happen?" Instead, you should stay and leave the place of prayer with the thought of “God will make this happen!". That's what prayer is supposed to do.
Then I understood what I did wrong yesterday. I wasn't supposed to combine worry and prayers, because they do not go together. I wasn't supposed to pray with worry because they're antonyms, not synonyms. I made a simple statement to God before I stood from where I sat. I said, “God, I trust you!" And with that, I erased all traces of worry in my heart.
I interpreted that part of the scripture as God telling me, “Daughter, rest!"
After the reading and long mediation, it dawned on me that I shouldn't worry about tomorrow or anything at all. There and then, I left my Bible open and went to devour my meal!
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